May 4, 2003
I am depressed. I miss “Kiss Me Kate” SO much. I was sitting in the restaurant with my parents and my sister, and I was thinking about how much I just wanted to go home and watch “Cyberella” on tape. Or any play I had done with kidsActing. I couldn’t since I was punished, but I am trying to do anything to think about kidsActing. So I settled down and listened to “Kiss Me Kate” songs and cried. It’s so painful to leave the plays. And it is probable that I will not do “Waking Sleeping Beauty.”
I miss everyone, but most of all: Andrea, Amber, Laura, Grace, Stazie, Julie, Penny, Kylee, Shae, Caitlin, Helen, Jenna, Melissa, Creston, Gary, Reno, both Rachels, and I miss Chase R. and Clint cracking jokes.
Anyone who hasn’t done a kidsActing show will not understand this, but kidsActing is like my second family. In fact, they are like my first family, because my family is not so good now. I have so much fun at kidsActing, and I never want to leave.
I made my bulletin board into a KA shrine. I put my signed T-shirt in the middle, all my programs, and I am going to put a bunch of pictures in there when I get the film developed. I was just sitting in my room crying. I need to see these people again. I am homesick. Theatre is my home.
Another reason I want to do “Waking Sleeping Beauty” is because it is a completely new show, and if I do it, I get to create the character. Not just play what another actor has already done.
All I have to do is be a complete angel for a week. That should be easy… Just like memorizing lines. I can do it, but sometimes I neglect it and don’t. I promised myself I was going to do this though. And I am. It is worth it to see these people again, and to get the thrill of being on stage. Whoever loves performing knows what I mean. Some people get nervous when a lot of people look at them. I love it. The people are clapping. For me. And for everyone else in the cast, but for me too. I just love it when people come to you after the show and tell you how good you did. I just want to kiss every person who does that.
By the way, it was great to see: Grace, John, Katie, Eric, Barrett, Nick, Lauren, Christy, and most of all, Jared! In case you guys didn’t know, Jared was like my best friend in “Cabaret.” Him and Laura. He is a really good friend.
Oh, and Shae gave out awards today. She gave me “Most Dedicated Diarist.” Funny, since lately is the time I haven’t been updating, since I am punished. I know this will be published late, but better than never. I love you, if you are from KA. Always remember that you are special. And if you aren’t in KA, join this summer. It will be great fun!
~*~Claire~*~
Listening: Always True to You Darling In My Fashion from “Kiss Me Kate”
Slapping: My Parents, for punishing me.
Kissing: Andrea, Amber, Laura, Grace, Stazie, Julie, Penny, Kylee, Shae, Caitlin, Helen, Jenna, Melissa, Creston, Gary, Reno, both Rachels, Chase R, and Clint. And people who compliment me after shows. And who come see my shows. Ok, I’m just kissing every Tom Dick or Harry today. J
Thinking: About how I am going to miss KA people.
Wearing. My KA shirt, and orange shorts.
May 5, 2003
Only 28 days till “Waking Sleeping Beauty.”
I am so looking forward to “Waking Sleeping Beauty.” I am so wanting to do that so bad. If I don’t get to do it, I am going to be so sad. Not even kidding. I will cry my eyes out.
I think I am coming down with pink eye. I woke up and my eyes were all crusted over with sleep. And all day I was taking it off. It’s really nasty. I hope I don’t have it, because Whitney has it all the time and she is miserable when she has it. But my eyes do kind of sting so I probably do. Dammit. Why, after just being sick, do I have to come down with something again?
I love Chicago. “they had it coming, they had coming, they had it coming all along, and they used us and they abused us. It was a murder but not a crime! He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame. If you’d have been there, if you’d have seen it, I betcha you would have done the same!” hehe. Actually I wouldn’t have, but still it’s an awesome song. My mom thinks it is immoral. Maybe just a little bit. But not too much. Not so much that I won’t listen to it.
All I can think of it “Waking Sleeping Beauty.” I don’t know what I will do if my parents don’t let me in it. Yesterday, everyone wanted to know who “that guy” was that I was talking about a couple entries ago. Helen was like, “Ooh, ooh, tell me!” So I told her. And Emma. And Kylee. I think just about every girl in kidsActing knows. But it doesn’t matter. He is not going to be in the summer show. L Everyone was telling me how cute it was, and Helen says it was “exciting” I don’t see how me liking someone is exciting. Almost everyone likes someone.
Anyway, I am really supposed to be doing school, so I have to go and write “a 1st person, 5 paragraph, persuasive essay on “Why Good Manners Are Important” This is hard since I don’t think they are. Grr, I hate school. There is nothing good about it. Since I am homeschooled, there is not even friends to help make it entertaining. Or hot guys.
Yeah, I am really too lazy to go away. Call me lazy, you wouldn’t be lying. I want to watch a KA show. I also want to go to Prophetic Presbytery tonight. I need a shower. I am really stinky. Oh well, I am also really lazy, as before mentioned. “The Witches” by Roald Dahl is a really good book. Anyone who has read it is privileged. That means a lot of people are privileged. But I like it because… I dunno I just really like almost all the Roald Dahl books. It is weird. I really like Cell Block Tango. Who else likes this song? Is it just me. Probably not because we were singing it in the dressing room at KA. “He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife 10 times.” “Some guys just can’t hold their arsenic.” Hehe. Yayness. Ok, I am really going now. Bye!
~*~Claire~*~
Listening: Cell Block Tango from “Chicago”
Slapping: My Parents, for punishing me.
Kissing: still any KA people. Cept for “Diva” and “Little Leech” Jesus, our nicknames are mean.
Thinking: about how much I do miss KA people.
Wearing. My KA shirt, and orange shorts. Haven’t took a shower yet. Yeah, gross I know.
May 6, 2003
Only 27 days until “Waking Sleeping Beauty.”
My mom is supposed to be checking my writing. But she is in the bathroom. I;m really bored. I failed my midterm. I got a 61. The funny thing is, is that I actually did know it, I was just being stupid. Hold on, she’s getting back out.
D
R
O
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Ok I’m back. I am really bored. Everyone went to see X-men without me on Friday, and they are all talking about it. That is so annoying. I really wanted to see that movie. If they don’t let me see the Matrix I will die. Just die. That looks SO awesome.
I really have nothing to say today, so bye!
Listening: nothing.
Slapping: My Parents, for punishing me.
Kissing: no one in particular.
Thinking: nothing. I’m trying not to think.
Wearing. Pajama pants and my KA shirt. Ok, I know, I like this shirt!
May 7, 2003
I feel so overwhelmed lately. My schoolwork is harder than ever and I just got over being sick, so I have to make up the days I missed. My mom is making me exercise, I have to be a perfect angel, and everything I do my mom informs me of what is wrong about it. Not to mention, since I am punished, I am not allowed to call or talk to my friends. So I have no one to talk to anymore. But the funny thing is, that they call me and talk to me. So not to mention my own, I am taking on others peoples burdens. I feel so insufficient. Like I should be doing better. No matter how hard I try it feels like I will never be caught up to how much work I have. Ever. And that makes me feel like less of a person to the people who are caught up. Like how dare I get sick? I know it is stupid, but that is how I feel. I get mad at myself for being weak when I cry around my mom. I hate crying in front of my mom, because I think it must make her feel like she’s won. I don’t know, but it hurts.
Maybe God is trying to put across the point that I don’t need my friends in the sense that I need him. I am not sure, but maybe he is trying to get me to lean on him more instead of counting on other things to keep me up. Whatever. I have to get back to work. Joy.
~*~Claire~*~
Listening: Hold on by “Good Charlotte”
Slapping: My Parents, for punishing me.
Kissing: Bonnie
Thinking: nothing. I’m trying not to think.
Wearing. Shorts that say “princess” on the butt and a St. Patrick’s Day shirt. Don’t comment.
May 9, 2003
Yay, I get to hang out with Jessi today! She is coming over to help me babysit for a bible study group my parents are part of. I barely ever hang out with Jessi anymore, so this will be fun. She is coming early, right after school, so we get to hang out before the chil’ens get here. Woohoo. Yesterday was pretty normal. I did my schoolwork, did some housework, and read with my dad. Yes, me and my dad read aloud. Maybe you guys think it is babyish, but it is not the fact that I can’t read it by myself, because we always read books I have already read. It is just that I like sitting against my father and listening to him read. I don’t know. Sometimes I read, and that is a good when to learn how to pronounce my words for plays. I use it as practice. Anyway, so we read the first three chapters of Artemis Fowl. I really like that book. Me and my dad just finished read the whole Harry Potter series. That was our last project. Woo. Hoo. Now J.K. Rowling just needs to get her ass into gear and gives us the fifth book. Grrrness, I am very impatient waiting for that book. Anyway, I have to go write about puritanical puritans. Lylas.
Listening: my brother, rocking his rolling chair. Hehe.
Slapping: My Parents, for punishing me.
Kissing: Jessi and the creators of X-men, Matrix, Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, Ender Wiggin, and Lord of the Rings.
Thinking: In spite of my self, about puritans.
Wearing: Shorts that say “princess” on the butt and a shirt that says, “Wassup!?”
May 12, 2003
Ok, I;m really bored. I really like the Sammy Keyes’ books. They are the best. If you haven’t read them, you must read them. Right now. Go.
Hehe. Ok, I’m really bored. I can post this now. Right bye.!
Listening: Hold on by “Good Charlotte”
Slapping: My Parents, for punishing me.
Kissing: Connlan, my sisters dog
Thinking: about school
Wearing. Pajama pants and a chenille sweater.